This week in Tekong

Reporting to you live from my house, my personal computer, into my personal journal for all of you to read. This week in Tekong... got to be the most tiring week so far. I think I over trained. Because my muscles do not have enough time to rest, my joints and muscles are aching. People say its normal, how normal can it be when you are injuring yourself. Push yourself to the limit? Risk my entire life just for a liability I must serve. Is it really worth it? Oh well....

I am mentally and physically drained. No more strength left. So much so that I am suffering from depression. I get frequent mood swings. Serious ones. One moment I am super super high, the next, I get depressed and scold anybody that talks to me. I can't really sleep soundly throughout the night. Aren't those signs of depression?

It sucks even more when my freedom I used to have is taken away. Weekends are just not enough. I need some quiet time being alone. The army does not provide that, unfortunately. However, I am happy that my physical fitness went up. The only reason why I am sitting here comfortably typing this entry is because I ran like a dog during my 2.4KM run for my IPPT test. I improved at a stunning timing of 4 mins till 12.48 minutes. But of course, I felt like dying after the run that I couldn't even control the saliva coming out of my mouth.

Anyway, we all feel like dogs in the Army.

And I still miss her.