Disappointment

Recently, I have been doing some self reflection on myself. And I realised how an asshole I've become. I was bad enough in the past, but after going through 'the army way', I have become worse! The reason for self reflecting is because BMT is coming to an end. Therefore its time to think back on how I have spent my four months living on that island.

The conclusion of my own findings is that I believe I have become more sarcastic and my actions and words greatly hurt the people around me. The things I say totally penetrates people, the things I do totally hurts them. It sucks to know how Effed up I have become. Totally disappointing.

I won't exactly elaborate what I did nor say to people. Some people say "blame the army" for making me/us more crude and more Effed up because its a rowdy and crude place to be in. Some say its because army is a place where it tests our mentality and hence when people break, they don't care about what they do, they just behave their own way without having to put on any mask. But I also believe that me, myself and I play the biggest role in controlling my words and actions.

As such, I have decided to change. At least be more civilised before I leave the army and move on in future (hopefully to you know where). I don't want to be a barbarian. I shall make the last two weeks count.

I am some where there.