Stressed out

As I was making my way to the bus stop heading towards home after my last tutorial of the day, I had a sudden surge of emotions filling my heart mind and soul. I felt so afraid. Fear, anxiety and a mixture of other emotions engulfed me. I cannot explain how horrible that feeling was. But I am really feeling very emotionally weak.

The reason behind my emotional breakdown is because of myself. Reality is put right there infront of my face, staring straight into me. In this semester of my education, I felt so very afraid of the amount of workload that is placed there for me to complete. Its tests, project submissions followed by examinations. All within 15 weeks. That is definitely not a very long time for us to prepare so many things. On top of that, 6 of the heaviest subjects that I have seen within this 3 years. Even if I minus out the stress that I have here in school, I still have to think about my future. What am I really going to do next time? If I do not make it through to certain careers, what will happen next? This life, all the facts and reality placed right there. Makes everything turn so cloudy for me.

I was speaking to a friend in the bus on the way home. She mentioned she cried the night before because of the amount of stress we are facing. Mind you, its only the second week of school. 2 years ago, we wouldn't have even bothered peeking into what is our projects all about. But in the current situation, we are only in the second week of school and we are having emotional breakdowns. We need to do well. We cannot afford to fail any modules this semester. Because most, or rather all of us depend on this semester, the final lap, to make our portfolio look decent on our future employer's desk.

The nightmare has just only begun. I am too afraid to continue thinking more into the future.

Maybe I should just go to South Africa and feed the lions.