It's a long and tiring journey

Inner peace.
Popular two words said by a master in the movie Kungfu Panda 2.
This is exactly what I require in my life right now.

A lot have been going through recently.
Probably not in quantity of issues.
But its the magnitude of these issues that makes me go bonkers.

I didn't manage to get posted into a place I wanted to be in.
I try my best to process the possibility of me being in there.
I find ways to make it seem not so bad.
I've seen certain positivity in being in there.
But deep down inside my heart, I still feel down.

Today, I didn't made it for my IPPT either.
I failed my running as usual.
Its a little got to do with the pride.
This time, I feel bad because I felt I let myself and the people around me down.
Not like I don't feel bad each time I fail.
But this time its slightly different.

To many, passing IPPT is easy.
Or at least the running part is easy to train.
Since young I've never been able to do it well.
And till today, as hard as I try not to give up, I still fail.

This journey is going to be long and tiring.
I already feel the strain on my shoulders with so much to bear.
Its not as easy as many people think.
I barely started and its starting to wear me down.