Dillema again

Life is full of shit. Seriously, period! I don't know how to put what I am feeling across but I'm going to try my very best.

First of all, I seriously think I have committment issues. I want to find a relationship but yet at the same time I am afraid of committing. This sucks because every time I am nearing one, I always turn around and back out!

Secondly, why is it that I always can't seem to have the person whom I have the strongest feelings for. Because of this, I some times try to find substitutes in which I don't really have feelings for but yet eventually get so close to getting together. Then I pull out and think, maybe I should just wait for the person whom I have the strongest feelings for.

Confused about what I've said so far?

Thirdly, I think the secondary head thinks more than the primary head. (If you get what I mean)

Lastly, fuck my life. AGAIN!

PS: I think I'm too nice a person.